Its the first sunday of 2018, yay! are we all bored of the first of 2018 series already? I AM! And what better way than to spend it retrospecting whats gone behind, yes, it's 2017... If you are someone who knows me in-person (an identity outside my blog) you would know that I say this every year but how did we get here so soon? It was literally a few days ago I was in NYC waking up to the most beautiful sunrise ringing into 2017, when I got a call from my sister informing that we had lost our grammy!
The start of the year was definitely a rough one for me and my fam... And I shit you not with each passing day and month, things got very very rough. I have been a little bit of a cry baby all my life honestly, I am 'Rachel' that way [a character from friends], however, this year it was different. Every agony different than the other and this year it was not about watching those sad feelings on a 5.5" screen via a film/video, it was really experiencing every pain personally and when I say pain it was not because my phone broke (which happened thrice this year btw) or I look so fat in this dress, it was adulting in the real sense by testing skills in accepting things, or letting things go...
Nonetheless, I am grateful that 2017 happened, it has made me realize the power and the fact that I can handle so much more than I give myself credit for. Having said that, there have definitely been some personal achievements that I am so proud of. No ones life is a 100% bed of roses (right???!!), and everyone has to face adversity. Instead of focusing on what was lost, I would love to focus on what I have learned. I really hope these lessons help you as well.
THINGS I HAVE LEARNT
1. Value your loved ones.
Experiencing death of a loved one in the beginning of the year has made me grateful, respectful and considerate towards my family. 1st Jan 2017 changed my outlook towards them so much. Earlier it was all about eating that extra slice of pizza first before talking to them (also because your boyfriend will finish it until then) or getting that assignment up before facetiming them. However, juggling both efficiently is definitely my jam now, I definitely do not mean to say that give your assignment/pizza lesser importance, however, I ensure that I speak to them at a designated time. Hence, balancing my time around those hours. Though it's easier said than done, catching up with my family everyday is something I swear by.
2. Female Friendships.
Growing up I have valued my girlfriends, importantly because I was that girl who would fear talking to guys in my teen ages and for many years after that (umm... engineering years were most certainly the first time I started speaking to guys), which is why, I have always preferred a secure company of my chicas! And I can almost imagine all my girlfriends agreeing to this point. Hence, not going to lie, though this was least of all the other revelations this year, I am absolutely grateful for their presence. I do not think I would have had this strength to sit here and accept the change so gracefully were they not present in my life.
3. Going the distance
I am with my best friend for over 2 years now and we have lived together for a year in that relationship. However, September really was my testing period. Yes! He moved out of our house because he got a job on the other side of the world. I know this happens with everyone and you would think what excuse is that? But being independent in a not so strange town was not easy for me. Every single thing that is present in my house is a choice made by both him and me and suddenly when I started coming back home alone and not having presence around my house, things got very very sad. I would literally have no motivation to cook, do anything fancy, let alone fancy, I had no motivation to even do basic tasks. LITERALLY. For days after he moved out, I would call him and ask him what he wanted to eat and I would cook that cause only that made me happy. Living alone and independent was definitely more difficult than I imagined. From changing water filters to doing all the big admin tasks that he took care of, it suddenly was enforced upon me. However, the importance of him strengthened further in this period cause I realized the level of my dependency on him. And I do not say this with pride because I like to be dependent on someone. But it is in the effort that he put into this relationship (in all these additional tasks) and till date continuous to support me.
4. Battling Anxiety
I still remember my first panic attack back in 2016, it was when I recently moved to a new town with my bf, the feeling of something great about to happen did not sink in well for me. And I remember gasping for breath so hard that I kneeled down on the floor and attempted to crawl but could not do anything. A couple months later, I realized that this was happening more often and decided to seek help. That decision definitely changed my life for ever, and I saw huge improvement in myself this last year and it is definitely something I am proud of. Even though I still struggle with anxiety, over the course of 1.5 years, I have definitely learnt to pacify myself and come to terms with it better. (I apologize for not having to give complete information or more information about anxiety than this, its just that, I am not that comfortable talking in detail about it yet. )
5. Accepting my body
As you may have seen by now in my photos, I am no US size 0 or 2 or 4. I am a happy US size 10 :) Yes, it took me 27 years to accept my body shape and weight. But it has definitely involved lots and lots of crazy diets and stupid stuff that I am completely not proud of and would love to yell at my past self. However, though I can't change the habits that I had, I have definitely completely changed my perspective as a person now. In fact, one of the main reasons for me to start this blog was because of that. I have been a huge follower of the fashion industry for a really long time, and I have observed that there are not many people in this industry who carry that extra weight and are around my size. If my style makes your one outfit/ one day easier, I cry a river inside each time that happens, as that fulfills the purpose of the existence of this blog.
Phew! thats a lot to take, isn't it?
2017 is something I want firmly behind me so that I can look forward to 2018. My only goal for this year is just to take care of my health and be happy with my family and friends.
Because the key to getting through a year happily is always in valuing these important and core moments.
What are some of your new year thoughts for 2018 and what were the learnings you thought you achieved in 2017. I would love to hear more about this in the comments section below.
Best,
xx
P.S. The reason this post went up this late is because today is considered as a new year according to my religious calendar. It is called as 'Gudhi Padwaa'.
Growing up I have valued my girlfriends, importantly because I was that girl who would fear talking to guys in my teen ages and for many years after that (umm... engineering years were most certainly the first time I started speaking to guys), which is why, I have always preferred a secure company of my chicas! And I can almost imagine all my girlfriends agreeing to this point. Hence, not going to lie, though this was least of all the other revelations this year, I am absolutely grateful for their presence. I do not think I would have had this strength to sit here and accept the change so gracefully were they not present in my life.
3. Going the distance
I am with my best friend for over 2 years now and we have lived together for a year in that relationship. However, September really was my testing period. Yes! He moved out of our house because he got a job on the other side of the world. I know this happens with everyone and you would think what excuse is that? But being independent in a not so strange town was not easy for me. Every single thing that is present in my house is a choice made by both him and me and suddenly when I started coming back home alone and not having presence around my house, things got very very sad. I would literally have no motivation to cook, do anything fancy, let alone fancy, I had no motivation to even do basic tasks. LITERALLY. For days after he moved out, I would call him and ask him what he wanted to eat and I would cook that cause only that made me happy. Living alone and independent was definitely more difficult than I imagined. From changing water filters to doing all the big admin tasks that he took care of, it suddenly was enforced upon me. However, the importance of him strengthened further in this period cause I realized the level of my dependency on him. And I do not say this with pride because I like to be dependent on someone. But it is in the effort that he put into this relationship (in all these additional tasks) and till date continuous to support me.
4. Battling Anxiety
I still remember my first panic attack back in 2016, it was when I recently moved to a new town with my bf, the feeling of something great about to happen did not sink in well for me. And I remember gasping for breath so hard that I kneeled down on the floor and attempted to crawl but could not do anything. A couple months later, I realized that this was happening more often and decided to seek help. That decision definitely changed my life for ever, and I saw huge improvement in myself this last year and it is definitely something I am proud of. Even though I still struggle with anxiety, over the course of 1.5 years, I have definitely learnt to pacify myself and come to terms with it better. (I apologize for not having to give complete information or more information about anxiety than this, its just that, I am not that comfortable talking in detail about it yet. )
5. Accepting my body
As you may have seen by now in my photos, I am no US size 0 or 2 or 4. I am a happy US size 10 :) Yes, it took me 27 years to accept my body shape and weight. But it has definitely involved lots and lots of crazy diets and stupid stuff that I am completely not proud of and would love to yell at my past self. However, though I can't change the habits that I had, I have definitely completely changed my perspective as a person now. In fact, one of the main reasons for me to start this blog was because of that. I have been a huge follower of the fashion industry for a really long time, and I have observed that there are not many people in this industry who carry that extra weight and are around my size. If my style makes your one outfit/ one day easier, I cry a river inside each time that happens, as that fulfills the purpose of the existence of this blog.
Phew! thats a lot to take, isn't it?
2017 is something I want firmly behind me so that I can look forward to 2018. My only goal for this year is just to take care of my health and be happy with my family and friends.
Because the key to getting through a year happily is always in valuing these important and core moments.
What are some of your new year thoughts for 2018 and what were the learnings you thought you achieved in 2017. I would love to hear more about this in the comments section below.
Best,
xx
P.S. The reason this post went up this late is because today is considered as a new year according to my religious calendar. It is called as 'Gudhi Padwaa'.
No comments
Post a Comment